How to Overcome the Fear of Success
How to Overcome the Fear of Success
I get it! You’re not afraid of failure.
You’re afraid of your business success and you know it.
This is something that’s so common for us “get shit done” girls. We like to tell ourselves little BS stories like, “I’m afraid, I’m going to fail.” When really you’re afraid that you’re going to succeed beyond your wildest dreams – and you don’t know who you’re going to be or how to be with that part of yourself once you hit that level of business success.
Ask yourself, “if I had the income I wanted, the relationships I wanted, the success that I wanted – who will I become?”
For most of our clients, they are more afraid of that fictional person in your head, whether she’s afraid she’ll be seen as stuck up, no longer down to Earth or even bougie – she would rather stay comfortable with status quo.
If you’re like most of our clients, that’s the same reason why you’re not getting started on that bigger business plan.
You’re afraid of your potential because you already know your potential. I bet you have enough evidence of how many times you’ve excelled that you’re really afraid that if you were to give it your all, you would kill the game and be so successful that you’ll start to self-sabotage.
Weird huh? Our subconscious is a crazy animal.
Self-sabotage is real.
Self-sabotage is when you inadvertently (or sometimes directly and intentionally) stop yourself from doing, being or thinking in the way that you need to move forward. Like the times where you may choose to be overwhelmed, so you can slow down your pace.
Sometimes it’s intentional and sometimes it’s unintentional. Usually, it’s unintentional – which is why it’s important to be able to recognize when it’s happening.
So here are three ways your self-sabotage may show up and how to move past it to get the business success you crave.
#1 – You’re reinforcing limitations.
The number one way that you are self-sabotaging your business success is that you’re reinforcing your limitations.
Let’s say you’re you have a project that is deadline-driven and you’re talking to a friend about it. You may say, “I gotta get this presentation done by Friday and you know how I procrastinate – I’m always a procrastinator!” You may THINK you’re being funny, but all you’re doing is reinforcing your limitations.
You may even say, “I need to get better at that or I’m trying to not be such a procrastinator.” You’re still focusing on your habit your limitation of procrastination because you said you need to do something. That’s inferring that you’re not already doing it.
Instead, try saying, “I’m practicing or I’m getting better at doing things early.” It might sound funny at first. But when you surround yourself with people who speak the same language or that vibe on the same level, then you actually don’t look weird.
#2 – You’re not selfish enough.
What is your relationship with selfishness?
Most people have a pretty negative relationship with selfishness. We think about social norms like “You’re not supposed to be selfish. You’re supposed to be willing, giving and generous.”
But if you never learn to be selfish, you have nothing to give.
Just like on an airplane, you must put on your oxygen mask on first in life before you put it on anyone else. So to have a healthy relationship with selfishness is to understand that you are in control and responsible for all things going on within yourself, your mind, your body, and your soul.
You can never have control over anyone else no matter how much you think you do. So when you own that selfishness is actually empowering and that it represents your responsibility of the control over yourself, you can then reclaim how you’re relating to yourself, how you’re relating to your business success and how you’re relating to your failure.
#3 – It’s time to get accountable.
You must allow accountability in. So many of us who are ambitious think we can get everything done all on our own – will not allow ourselves to be held accountable. Usually, it’s because then you give up control, then you have to stretch yourself, then you actually have to be pushed to experience that feeling of business success or failure.
Here’s how to go about it the easy way. Tell a friend, “I’m going to practice no longer reinforcing my limitations so anytime you hear me reinforcing my limitations, please call me out on it.” That’s accountability!
However, in order for it to work, you still have to let accountability in. It’s not just about setting up an accountability structure, it’s about allowing yourself to be called out. That is what helps you to see how often that limiting beliefe tape is playing in your head. I know it may get frustrating but remember – you’re not actually getting annoyed at the accountability partner, you’re getting annoyed with yourself.
Again – you’re not afraid of failure, you’re afraid of your business success and you already know it. Consider that you’re afraid to admit it and it’s because you’re too busy finding ways to self-sabotage and letting yourself off the hook for your commitments.
Signs of self-sabotage to look out for:
1. Reinforcing your limitations
2. Having a negative relationship with selfishness
3. Not allowing accountability in
How to overcome self-sabotage and gain business success:
1. Speak “as if” you have already conquered the limitation
2. Get comfortable with being selfish when needed
3. Don’t just set up accountability structures, allow yourself to be called out
If you know that you really need to up your game, you want to be more committed to the goals that you have in place and to be held accountable to a level that is slightly uncomfortable, but will eventually feel good when you hit that business success level – you probably need to hire a business coach.
For more information on The Ambition Studio services and to apply, please visit www.theambitionstudio.co.
CEO & Founder
My clients hire me when they’re overwhelmed, burned out and exhausted from burning the midnight oil without the results to show for it. They realize that wearing busy as a badge of honor didn’t work for them in the corporate world and still doesn’t work as an entrepreneur. I coach my clients and their teams on how to develop their intuitive leadership to make quicker decisions, take bolder actions and shift into a leadership style of authenticity.